Of course, I think this song is about Stevie, as I often do! He's always been very attracted to her, "through the pleasure and the pain," whether it's "right" or it's "wrong." Now that's she's left him, he's always trying "to prove that [he] was someone hard to lose" - he wants her to regret it. He admits that, while he's "a bundle of joy" he also causes "a pocketful of tears" - but a bundle's a lot bigger than a pocket! Still, he "lives alone" now - it's all he can do, because he still wants her.
Since the album is dedicated to Lindsey's ex-girlfriend, Carol, and he talked about her and the shattering heartbreak of ending his relationship with her in almost every interview he gave for Go Insane, I think this song is about Carol. He wrote this as he and Carol were still breaking up, or right after, and I think he's going over in his mind all the things that he could have done differently. But in the end, whatever his faults or her problems, what he's left to deal with is his loneliness without her. That loneliness is compounded by the complex emotions he's dealing with. He knows it's best and it's healthy not to be with her anymore, but deep down inside, where emotions obliterate logic, he still wants her. He said in an interview that this song was not about wanting someone sexually; instead it's about wanting "you the way you were when I met you." He remembers the beauty of what he and Carol had at the beginning (before Carol's debilitating drug problem), and he just longs terribly for that time because he still loves her and he knows that that Carol is lost inside of her somewhere.
I find it very telling that Lindsey chose this song to open this album. The alarm clock going off seems to signal the start of the day, and to me he is giving us a small glimpse at what goes on inside his head the minute he wakes up! I really like the sounds in the background during the spoken intro, it's like you can literally hear the wheels in his brain turning. Like most men, he probably wakes up rearin' to go.....(ahem!) So naturally his first thoughts seem to go right to the "object of my desire" (see Loving Cup). He wants her, and he has "for so long", but she is not there next to him. He wants her "through the pleasure and the pain", and he wants her "again and again". There seems to be a few clues that this woman he wants is not someone with whom he has a regular everyday relationship, so I'm not betting on Carol Ann Harris. He is talking about someone who is slightly unattainable...someone with whom he has past issues.... someone he thinks about and obsesses about from the very moment his eyes open in the morning....we know the only person to fit that bill is Stevie.
In light of recent interviews, and Lindsey's Behind the Music segment, I would say it is safe to assume he was still working through major issues with Stevie during this era. He said so himself. Stevie and Lindsey were tumultous, and they were definitely NOT a couple during these years, but it is obvious there was still a great sexual attraction there that seemed to transcend all their other relationships. Insiders have said that during the 80's they were either at each other's throats fighting, or unable to stay out of each other's hotel rooms, so there was most likely a little acting out of that attraction going on.
He says he "sleeps all alone" and "lives all alone" so either he is describing a time after Carol left, or if not, then she didn't make a very big impression by being there. He considers himself alone.....maybe he is saying he's available. On tour, everything was available. The tours pump him up and get him all excited and full of sexual energy. There are many FM videos where Lindsey is a little overstimulated, to say the least. Stevie is both the initiator and the recipient of that stirred-up, frenetic energy in him.
They both know that doing this isn't particularly healthy, but still, they can't help themselves. The pull and the attraction are too strong. I find it interesting that he also used the words "through all this incredible pleasure and incredible pain" during his speech at the AHI 2000, when talking about Stevie.
This song is nice little snap shot in time as to how things were during the crazy acting-out days, and Lindsey really is struggling with handling his feelings for Stevie. Stevie lyrics reveal the same struggles. I'm not saying he didn't have other women in his life he cared for, or was even in love with, but he did say in his BTM that his feelings for Stevie "disabled his long-term relationships", so it would seem that he couldn't properly help Carol with her problems because he still had Stevie in the back of his mind all the time.
As far as the "spartan splasher", well.....maybe he likes to go skinny-dipping? ha ha HA HA! Maybe he and Stevie did that and it was an incredible turn-on, so it could be one of those cryptic, coded messages their friends are always talking about that they like to send to each other! Oh, that Lindsey! Such a bad, bad, boy! That's why I just love him!